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Zixlesii

BRB, drowning a fish
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Zixlesii

Point commissions OPEN on new account

1 min read
If people haven't known already, my rather new account is :iconzeallica:

I've opened my point commissions so I can save up for a premium membership!
See here and go to my other account for details:

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Zixlesii

New account

1 min read
There is literally no point in keeping it secret anymore -> :iconzeallica:/Zeallica is my new account.

This account will be open, but not used. Unless I get hacked or something. 
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Zixlesii

Break/Negativity

3 min read
I'm feeling better since last week, and I want to thank those who have supported me and told me some useful advice. I may not be a frequent user as I was many years ago, but I want to say that I'm going to take a very long break and I have a very good reason why. I'll explain...

There are too many depressive people on this website, and I don't understand why people feel the need to express every detail of it on the Internet, particularly on this website. Sure, people have everyday problems, some are very depressed and they truly are...Or that they want to be depressed because they do it for attention or just want to be a 'wannabe depressive' person (which is just ridiculous) 

But back to what I was saying; All I can see is that some people are using this as a depression blog website, not for art. It feels like as if they just sit there and wallow on their depression, than reaching out to people to get proper help. But instead of that, they are just doing nothing about it yet they complain about their depression almost/nearly/ALL the time. I know not everyone is doing this, I know it is difficult to talk to people while feeling like this, but are YOU doing anything good for yourself if you are just sitting there and not do anything about it?

And sharing it on a website,like this one via journals, is not appropriate! The reason why I say this is that you are sharing REAL LIFE problems on a website, where it is viewed by strangers all around the world, and it seriously is putting your privacy and safety in danger.
I'm seeing journals memes where it asks if the certain person is self-harming themselves, stolen anything, is depressed, thought of committing suicide, smokes cigarettes/weed, gotten drunk, got into physical fights, and other very personal things, where it shouldn't even be posted online. Along with pictures of their characters dying in blood, being hung by the neck, slitting their wrists etc. IT'S WRONG! And the reason why it is wrong is because it is just so NEGATIVE AND VERY DISTURBING!! If you are one of these people that are doing this, GET SOME SERIOUS HELP A.S.A.P.! 

There are too many negative people in this world that bring down other people's feelings, and it is just not right. We don't need more negative people. I wish some people just said something positive for ONCE!
I would have written more about this if I had more time...
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Zixlesii

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I AM NO ABUSER!

5 min read
Okay, I had enough of this now. This is just getting ridiculous. I made this public because I would like to stop this rumour that is being spread about me being abusive. There are certain people who knows this, especially those who have been visiting my page and watching me because of HIM. 

I can tell you now, I never ever would abuse a person in my life, EVER. Abusing is wrong, and I have been through enough forms of abuse in my life to know what abuse is. Including discrimination and neglection. Anyway.
*No names are going to going to be called out, as I know by the rules of DeviantART that is NOT ALLOWED.* 

Okay, I have mentioned a guy that has been stalking me, mentally and emotionally abusing me for over a year by mentioning very bad memories on purpose and dumping his problems on me and expects me to solve it for him, using me, taking lies behind my back, treats me like crap and has no consideration for my feelings at all, trying to twist the truth, saying stuff about me behind my back to my friends, and just purposely trying to drag me into his drama that he caused for himself. 

But NOW posting journals about me, including my username. And CONTINUING to talk rubbish behind my back to his other 'friends', and now I'm getting stalked, watched and yelled at by them, even though they should just mind their own business and don't even know what on Earth is going on!

Yes I was very angry at him when it was the last straw, yes I told him that what he says and does is wrong, yes I told him how I felt by his actions, yes I told him to grow up, yes I told him an indirect apology is not good enough and sincere, yes I told him to stop:
- Playing 'victim'
- Blaming others even though it's his fault
- Being a bully
- Complaining
- Twisting the truth
-  Prolonging hate
- Dumping his problems on me to be responsible and solve
- Causing all this anger and sadness for me by mentioning really bad memories and saying stuff I don't want to hear.
- Saying revolting and heartless things like 'I am bullying ---- to set them right' or hoping for a certain someone's 'heart attacks to kick in and kill her'
- Causing drama ( After a comment I made on a journal, he removed the hate list of people that he thought of certain people 'deserve to die, and be bullied and flamed at' (basically encouraging drama) And he bitched about that)
- Talking absolute crap about people and myself
- Dragging people into his drama and dragging people into a very negative atmosphere

And so much more...

AND YES I told him to stop being immature, selfish, a bully, and just other things that he is acting and being.

Is THAT what kids these days call ABUSE!? 
All I did was told him how I thought and feel about him and what he is saying and doing was wrong. And it was just 100% honesty too, and there is nothing more greater than being honest. Since when was HONESTY and TELLING SOMEONE HOW YOU FEEL IS ABUSE??? Do you expect me to be soft, indirect, arse-kissing and sugar-coat the situation? NO. Seriously, life is not a fantasy world, so realistically, I'm none of those things when it comes to being honest. 

After all that help and support I have him, and he just throws rocks and dirt into my face. I do NOT and will NEVER tolerate with it. I will say something about it because I'm not scared of anyone, not scared to stand up for myself and I'm definitely not scared to straight up say it to someone's face. Whether you like me being honest or not, get the fuck over it and stop calling me out for 'abuse' when that is false. Ha, he doesn't even understand the word 'abuse' and what the many forms of it is.

Now stop this bullshit. I like to be civil with anyone and everyone, but when people start taking that for granted or start doing and saying some really bad stuff about/towards me, all those civil feelings will not return to those people again. Even though I hate making enemies, but in life, I have to accept that I will have a few in the end of the day.

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Zixlesii

Deactivating on the 23rd of May 2014

3 min read
I have decided that once this premium membership ends, I will deactivate this account.

If you have read my previous journals, then you'll probably know why. But I'll list them down:

- I am being stalked by someone who has done very horrible things to me, and mentally and emotionally abused me.  Unfortunately, I may not have enough evidence for the staff's standards (Which is horrible), and this person can find me again, and again, and again, because he knows my username.

So I'm moving accounts. And I won't be publicly showing what my new account is. I will only select the very few people on my watch list to know what my new account is, and I will be making this account TODAY. And I'll be working on it much more than this account, apart from the one commission I need to do.

- I have decided to plan to work full time (5-7 days a week, 8 hours a day) to help myself become financially supported or have enough savings in my bank account. Because.....

- I may most likely be moving out of the country I live in. (And I will do anyway)
- And because of that, I may be looking for work abroad as well.

- I'm going to take a course to become  registered in First Aid, and hopefully when I move abroad (or if I'm still here) I could build it up to become a Paramedic or a Doctor, or even a nurse. But we'll see...I could become anything. :lol:

Because I fear that Illustration is something I can do any day, but unfortunately, I KNOW I won't ever become an illustrator for game companies. I could do freelance, but I keep on hearing from other people that I need a business loan....But they don't know how to or they don't even have any relation to the subject of freelance illustration. Plus, it may not even be a PROPER job. I probably won't get paid much at all. 


Those are my reasons why.


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Point commissions OPEN on new account by Zixlesii, journal

New account by Zixlesii, journal

Break/Negativity by Zixlesii, journal

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I AM NO ABUSER! by Zixlesii, journal

Deactivating on the 23rd of May 2014 by Zixlesii, journal